Mexican Wine

Last night I was invited to a house-cooling party (the opposite of a house-warming) and while it sounds like something you might do after someone dies, it was just a pretty chill end-of-summer bash. The party was populated primarily by teachers and employees of Focus on the Family, but don't let that fool you, it was pretty rocking. Also, it was fiesta themed which meant that I was supposed to bring a snack el Mexicano, so thanks to all of you who gave me recipes throughout last week. What I came up with in the end was kind of a combination of those suggestions plus a little personal flair.

How to Make Man-Nachos

Before going to the grocery store I wrote out the entire recipe that Maggie gave me, added elements from about three others, and wrote in big letters at the top of my list "CROCK POT???"

I did end up buying the crock pot and while it might not have been necessary, it sure was fun and I'm sure I'll get my $15-worth out of it (I think they were all on sale for college students returning to school).

I'll give the full list of ingredients at the end of the post, but for now I'll just give you the play-by-play on the creation of the ultimate Mexican dish.

1. Prepare the meat: Brown 1 and 1/2 lbs of ground beef (or whatever) in in the biggest frying pan you've got. After meat is mostly browned add in 4 or more of the biggest cloves of garlic you can find. Then add as much jalapeno pepper as you can stand, remembering that the longer jalapeno cooks the stronger it gets. I added two peppers, cooked it on the stove for about twenty minutes and then in the crock pot for about two hours and it was plenty hot enough for my tastes.2. Prepare the salsa: While your meat is browning you can take the time to prepare the salsa that will end up topping this monstrosity of a meal. I bought one big jug of Pace and, using an near-empty salsa jar, combined it with several healthy scoops of crushed pineapple. This way you can get a good fruit salsa and still be able to buy the cheap bulk stuff. The more fruit you add the sweeter it gets. 3. Stove to crockpot. At this point your meat should be pretty well browned. Take one 160z can of Hormel chili and one packet of taco seasoning and add these to the mix. I gave this another couple minutes on the stove and then transferred the whole lot to the crock pot. This stuff can hang out as long as you want it to. Like I said earlier, the longer it sits, the stronger the jalapeno gets. You be the judge.4. Final prep. When you're down to about 30 minutes until serving time, begin final prep. This includes cutting up fresh tomotatoes to sprinkle as a garnish, preheating the oven for melting your cheese, heating up a 16oz can of refried beans, and realizing that the head of lettuce you thought you bought was actually a cabbage.
5. Putting it all together. In a large Pyrex pan, or whatever, place a layer of your favorite chips. Try to set up chips all around the perimeter so that they can easily be used for dipping. Spread the refried beans as the bottom layer on top of the chips. Sprinkle a ton of cheese all over this and put it in the over for about 5 minutes to melt. Then add the meat from the crock pot over the melted cheese, pour a healthy (I used a whole 24oz can) amount of your salsa over the meat.
6. Finished product. Top the salsa with another layer of cheese and your sliced tomatoes and you've got pretty much the most hardcore Mexican meal ever devised.
Final stats:
1 and 1/2 lbs ground beef
1 large bag of chips
16oz can of refried beans
16oz can of Hormel chili with beans
2 jalapeno peppers
4-20 cloves of garlic
1 small can of crushed pinapple
1 large container of your favorite salsa
1 packet of taco seasoning
At least 2 cups of cheese
2-3 Roma tomatoes
1 medium head of cabbage

Cook time: Anywhere from 40 minutes to 4 hours depending on how long you want the meat and spices to stew.

Thanks again to everyone who sent me recipe help. Feel free to advise me further on how to put my crock pot to good use. And seriously, this stuff went like hotcakes at the party (why doesn't anyone ever bring hotcakes to parties) so you should try it. Like I always say: garlic makes the meal.