Brand New Colony

I love Michigan. Every blessed-by-God's-own-hand square inch of it.

So far I've:

- Gotten into Det. Met. two and a half hours late (thanks to Den. Int.)

- Thankfully run into Leroy (whose cellphone had died) within my first 10 minutes out of the terminal

- Taken the wonderfully treacherous roads up to Hubbardston (arrival: 5am)

- Been greeted by Pat and Brad at the Osborne home, where Leroy and I spent the night

- Served a huge breakfast by Mrs. Osborne

- Trekked up to Carson City, had spiced cider with mom and sister

- Sojourned to the Leroy Lair, for puppies and guppies, plus Leroy's Mammy gave us some liver

- After a brief stop at Leroy's apartment, we arrived at Clare and were treated to chicken noodle soup and Vivian's homemade sugar cookies

- Watched several episodes of a Dirty Jobs marathon before heading to bed

- Woke up, ate a healthy breakfast and just chatted and played with the kids until lunch (Pumpkin/Chicken Red Chili, a new Vivian creation)

- Set out for Grand Rapids in the Leroymobile

- Hung out with Brian, met his new kitty

- Had dinner (Mexican) with Ashley and Kendra, then checked Auntie Lisa, Ben and Alex, Katie, and Kiki off my shopping list

- Headed back to Brad's apt. for Dance Dance Revolution and the "Leroy gets handsy when he drinks game" (much closer to Tag or Blind Man's Bluff than an actual drinking game, easily as exhausting as DDR)

Bear hugs to everyone we've seen so far: Leroy, Brad, Pat, Mrs. Osborne, Stephanie, Brian O., Bob, mom, Katie, Leroy's Mammy, Lil' Leroy, Vivian, Ben, Alex, Kiki, Kathy, Jim, baby Joseph (neice/nephew number 14), Tim, Brian, Kendra, and Ashley. 

Finally, for the benefit of the group, I have some of the most beautiful metaphors ever used in love lyrics. I especially like "I'll be the platform shoes to undo what heredity's done to you."

I'll be the grapes fermented,
Bottled and served with the table set 

In my finest suit like a perfect gentlemen.
I'll be the fire escape that's bolted to the ancient brick
Where you will sit and contemplate your day

I'll be the waterwings that save you if you start drowning
In an open tab when your judgement's on the brink.
I'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite
Albums back as your lying there drifting off to sleep...
I'll be the platform shoes and undo what heredity's done to you...
You won't have to strain to look into my eyes.
I'll be your winter coat buttoned and zippedstraight to the throat
With the collar up so you won't catch a cold.

I want to take you far from the cynics int his town
And kiss you on the mouth
We'll cut out bodies free 

From the tethers of this scene,
Start a brand new colony
Where everything will change,
We'll give ourselves new names (identities erased)
The sun will heat the ground
Under our bare feet in this brand new colony.

 

That's "Brad New Colony" by The Postal Service, one of my favorite CDs of all time.

Here's the song set to a slideshow, enjoy:

P.S. I know Michael, Pat, Natalie, and Heidi have found their way back to the blog, but is there anyone else out there? Comment and let me know how your Christmas season is going.

Lost (I'm All About the Wordplay)

"See Martin, see Malcolm
See Biggie, see Pac,
See success and its outcome
See Jesus, see Judas
See Caesar, see Brutus,
See success is like suicide
If you succeed,
Prepare to be crucified"
- Jay-Z (from Coldplay's "Lost", feat. Jay)

I have to ask: Do Jay-Z's typical fans even understand his lyrics? By far the best word-players in the industry right now are Barenaked Ladies, Relient K, and Motion City Soundtrack, but since no one listens to them the mantle falls to the rappers. Mantle falls? Did we even understand that allusion?

What about Kanye?:

"Dressed smart like a London bloke.
Before he speak his suit bespoke.
And you thought he was cute before.
Look at this P Coat, Tell me he's broke.
And I know you're not into all that.
And I'm feelin' like Mike at his baddest.
The Pips at they gladest."
- Kanye West (From Estelle's "American Boy")

Probably the most successful song of the year and it contains back-to-back references to Michael Jackson and Gladys Knight and The Pips. Right on.

English is the most versatile and extensive language on the planet, with the richest literary history, the most vocabulary, and fewest innate grammatical structures. It's a gold mine, and why more people aren't excited to search out Shakespeare, Melville, Poe, G.K. Chesterton, The Beatles, and pop music to find out just what our language is capable of is beyond me.

Even if it's just a fart joke in Moby Dick that I didn't get until the fourth time around, the greatest literature that mankind has ever written is worth taking time to understand and it pays dividends.

The fart joke:

"For as in this world, head winds are far more prevalent than winds from astern (that is, if you never violate the Pythagorean maxim)..."

And if you just need some visual stimulation, this is truly awesome (click to enlarge).

Last Christmas

So. Last night I had my first excursion to a new bargain bookstore having decided that I should do something special for my kids and get them each a hand-picked classic novel for Christmas. Add this to the fact that I've had them bring in stockings over the past several days to be filled by their classmates with treats, and you have me being, once again, the sweetest teacher ever.

I put some work into it too. Not only did I flirt excessively with the girl working at the bookstore to get a bulk price, but I matched up each of my homeroom students with a worthwhile literary work (Of Mice and Men, Anne of Green Gables, Our Town, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Hobbit, Little Women, etc).

The end product was thus: sixteen kids with stockings filled with literary goodness and sugary grossness.
And so, the kids opened their stockings, discovered the treasures that they held (the kids brought in homemade candies, cookies, sour straws, hand lotion for the girls, hackey-sack-type balls for the guys, little light-up toys, and so on)...
And guess what?!? They were complete jerks about it. Seriously. I got one thank-you and about a hundred complaints along the lines of "Ms. Brogan's class is doing breakfast, why aren't we doing breakfast," "I'm telling Dr. Prentice that you gave us a party, that way he will HAVE to cancel his lesson plans," "What? I got Wheelock's Latin? (a $30 book), what am I supposed to do with this?"

It sucked. They whined through an awesome holiday party, they whined through getting to watch To Kill a Mockingbird (starring Gregory Peck) and they whined their ways right down the hall and out the door.

Lucky for them I don't have to see their smelly little selves for more than two weeks.

Sheesh.

On the bright side, one little girl sang "Christmas Shoes," one of my two least favorite Christmas songs, but she is so cute that it was worth it. I've got a video clip if you'd like me to post it. Send your requests.

My other least favorite Christmas song is "Mary Did You Know?" mostly because the answer is a simple, resounding "YES". Yes, she did know. An angel told her. Did you even read the Christmas story? Get a life.

24 hours from now I'll be on a too-hot, stuffy plane surrounded by sweating fat people bound for the murder-capital of the world, which, if all remains as it is, will be under ten to twelve inches of snow and dense cloud cover.

The sound quality isn't good, but if anyone should have attempted to remake this song, it was jimmyeatworld.

Someday Soon

Today was the PTO teacher appreciation lunch.

For the 12 teachers in the 7th and 8th grades the parents provided: enchiladas, four kinds of bread, bread sticks, two kinds of ravioli, three soups, chili, four or five kinds of potato/nacho/bean salad, three different flavors of chicken wings (probably 50 of each kind), sub sandwiches, an entire turkey complete with stuffing and all the desserts you could handle.

It was decadent. Especially since I don't usually eat much for lunch.

So, in preparation for writing a bit about Walking Tall (action movie starring The Rock) I did a Google Image search. Turns out it had not just one, but two sequels. Both starring Kevin Sorbo of TV's Hercules: The Legendary Journeys fame. That's when you know your film was a real winner: when you have two sequels in which you downgrade your star from a pro-wrestler to a washed up actor for a USA(the network, not the country)-only drama.



IMDB also thinks that the two sequels were released in the same year...

Anyway, I liked the movie, but, like I Am Legend, it never really went anywhere.

I liked it mostly because it had The Rock in it, but also because it depicts how The Rock's character (Chris Vaughn) returns to his small-town home after a eight year stint in the army only to find that everything he once loved about his hometown has been destroyed. The lumber mill which used to employ most of the town's residents has been shut down and the economic center has become a crooked casino, which both employs Vaughn's ex-girlfriend as a stripper and fronts a meth lab which sells to his teenage nephew.

I guess I like it because it attempted to portray what it's like to open your eyes one day to see just how screwed up the world you thought you knew really is, and how difficult it is to do something about it.

Maybe Hamlet said it best: "The time is out of joint, O cursed spite! That ever I was born to set it right."

Walking Tall claims to be inspired by a true story, which seems unbelievable to me, but if it is true I would love to read more about the story. The idea of one man redeeming a community like that is inspiring.

This post will probably fall on deaf ears, I doubt anyone has seen the movie, but the point is that it affected me because I miss home and if I'm going to be doing good in the world I'd like to be doing it for people I know and love. And, while I don't doubt that in some way I'm being prepared for that where I am, it's difficult to wait.

And if that was boring, he's a YouTube of clips from The Office:



P.S. I'm totally winning at Christmas. More tomorrow. With pictures.

Leave the Bourbon on the Shelf

"'We're on a boat.'
'Yes, I know'
'Do you think death could possibly be a boat?'
'Oh no... No. Death is not.... Death isn't. Take my meaning? Death is the ultimate negative. Not being. You can't not be on a boat.'
'I've frequently not been on boats.'
'No. What you've been is not on boats.'"
- Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead


T-minus two days until break. How ready to be done am I? So ready that I suggested to the younger teachers that we should do a midweek happy hour. How ready to be done are they? They took me up on the offer. $2 pints and half-price appetizers are a great way to end the day. Beer and nachos are a great way to avoid grocery shopping.

Since I discovered the library a couple days ago I've been trying to catch up on movies I've meant to see. So far this includes The Squid and The Whale, Charlie Wilson's War, I Am Legend, and Rozencrantz and Gildenstern are Dead. I've enjoyed all of them so far, except I Am Legend. I just didn't understand why that movie didn't go anywhere. Will Smith only kills like three zombie/vampire/ghouls, he never figures out that they are still sentient (one z/v/g not only comes into the sunlight to save his mate, but he traps Will Smith in a copycat snare and then pursues him to his house), and the dog, who upstages the fresh prince as only a domesticated animal can, dies. Double-U the F.

Today I checked out Walking Tall, because if there's one thing I love more than stock-plot action movies, it's stock-plot action movies starring professional wrestlers.

And now, your moment of Zen:

Feel It All

You guys remember my award show, The Goodies, right? Where I give candy-themed awards in various categories based on how people, events, and media have affected my life in the previous year?

Well, Jenn from Sunflower Management, the physical embodiment of my accursed apartment landlord-conglomerate, clinched the nomination for the Bit-O-Honey (most diabolical influence) award yesterday with "pipes in downstairs frozen, no hot water in Zach's apartment."

Add this to her previous hits "Zach and Brad live in a state park and get snowed on while no one cleans our apartment like they said they had to," "oops, forgot you were signing your lease today, see you never," and "no heat for two days in your apartment on the coldest days Colorado has seen in a hundred years," and I'm pretty sure she's got this one in the bag.

M79

M79 (em-sev-in-tee-ny-nuh): 1. A song by the band Vampire Weekend, the title of which refers to a highway... somewhere... 2. A grenade launcher used in the Vietnam War, also known as the "Wombat Gun."
Tonight is the finale of the first story arc of Heroes season 3, not that anyone really cares at this point. Despite the fact that Heroes has become, as io9.com aptly described it, "the show with no consequences," I still think it has the greatest potential of anything on T.V. to become meaningful, quality entertainment, though perhaps it never will be again.

Obviously, I'm not a fan of Hiro Nakamura as the "human reset button," and time travel is never a good idea, but the real crime is the fact that none of the Petrelli's are dead yet (no, I don't believe in the ending last week's episode).

Even though I've spent the last eight months transitioning into post-college life, being thrown headlong into a potential career, and adjusting to life in a new state and timezone, I feel like I'm heading back to Michigan this Saturday with very little to show for it. I've lost some hair. Had my car and my bike destroyed. Experienced six months of 8th graders being my primary social contact. Gained some weight. But not much else.

The following is a poem by the lovely Hannah Agauas, reprinted here without here permission, though with a strong recommendation to check out her blog: agauas.blogspot.com

My third can of Diet Rite,
My millionth time to waste the night,
Shame to me is sixty cents
Clanging down the plastic vents and
Squeezing into tighter pants.

On the bright side somebody told me that The Killers, who for reasons unknown are on top of my list, are playing a midnight show, so I decided to leave the bourbon on the shelf and I sweet talked a friend of mine (though she did it under the gun) to buy me a ticket for that glamorous rock and roll show. (There are 10 titles of Killers songs in that last sentence)

Seriously though. Killers concert. 17th of Jan. Be there or C-squared.

LYLAS

Hideaway

Are we there yet?

Five more days of school. That's 24 classes, assuming we don't have any two-hour delays. I won't go so far as to hope for a snow day.

So far my Christmas break (I'll be in MI from Dec. 20 to Jan 3rd) includes:

1. House-sitting in Clare while Vivian enjoys an Alabama Christmas
2. Guild New Years
3. Young Life Christmas in Hillsdale
4. Some time in GR with Natalie, The Richardses and possibly Ashley
5. The Motor City Bowl with Brad on the 26th
6. All day shopping trip in Lansing before Christmas (I'm surely not going to pay $15, $40, $100, for additional checked bags)

If you've got something to add to the itinerary just let me know.

Yesterday I had my first Saturday in a coffee house with my new laptop, and in addition to the Kanye disappointment I downloaded: The Weepies, The Fleet Foxes, the complete Killers discography, Viva La Hova - the Coldplay/Jay-Z mash-up, Vampire Weekend, T.V. on the Radio, the new Feist CD, and a String Quartet Tribute to Norah Jones.

Overall, I've gleaned some good songs from each (excepting Kanye), and really enjoyed Feist and The Killers. I'll do my best to broadcast what I've found over the next couple days.

I also realized that my new laptop has a DVD player and so I headed to the library where I picked over the well-gleaned racks for something that wasn't a documentary and ended up with Charlie Wilson's War and The Squid and The Whale. I watched both yesterday before going to a poker party, which involved much drinking, tons of food, and very little poker.

Charlie Wilson's War was entertaining, despite Julia Robert's face. Tom Hanks is always fun to watch, especially when he's a womanizing, alcoholic congressman from Texas. As for The Squid and The Whale, I'm not sure yet what I thought of it. I love Jeff Daniels, and I was relieved that this wasn't another Royal Tennenbaums/Rushmore movie, but it was still mighty strange.

Which reminds me. It's almost time for my annual reading of Moby Dick.

Welcome To Heartbreak

New laptop (courtesy of Mike and Maggie). New music (courtesy of torrentz.com, so sue me). New sense of disappointment and regret (courtesy of Kanye West's new album 808s and Heartbreaks).

This CD is probably the worst thing I've ever come across. I think it might be a prank. I'm pretty sure that either Kayne is singing (rather than rapping) the entire thing in a distorted voice that sounds exactly like Lil' Wayne, or that Lil' Wayne put the entire album together and released it in Kayne's name.

Either way the thing is a bad Usher CD. Please, oh please, if anyone out there has had the strength to listen to the whole album refer me to the track that will prove me wrong.

Also, it turns out I'm so culturally out of step these days that I didn't realize Viva La Hova wasn't an official album, and was angry when I couldn't buy it on iTunes. Turns out the only music I was willing to download legally today is the only music that is only available illegally.

Let's hope Jay-Z can bring me back from this state of utter musical/emotional impotence that Kayne's pseudo-R&B, sorry excuse for a Ne-yo CD has put me in.

Wow.

No Fear

So. It has been a tumultuous couple weeks. I don't know why I've been so down about it, but hopefully I can recuperate this weekend and be ready to live the last two weeks of Halloween to the fullest.

Bored to Death

The last week or so has been strange. I've continued to have problems with my insurance/loan situation. Once again I called my loan company only to find out that they still haven't received any sort of payment from the insurance company.

I've decided also that I won't be attending the CAMWS (Classical Association of the Midwest and South) conference next month.

CAMWS invited me to read my paper "Ripped Up By The Roots: Sophocles' Antigone and The Fall of the House of Oedipus" at their 2008 convention, but because of this car situation and every other blow Colorado has dealt me I don't feel confident enough about my school work or my finances to take off a couple days and attend the convention in Asheville. Also, the fact that G-mail marked a month's worth of CAMWS communication as Spam didn't help either.

I've also decided that if I can get back into blogging I'm at least going to give myself one day off per week, beginning in November. As it stands I owe you all way too many posts about Halloween to cut myself any slack before the end of the month.

I got back to RCIA (basically adult confirmation classes for the Catholic Church) this week after missing two weeks in row. I'm still not overly pleased at how painfully elementary the class is and how much time we spend sharing our "feelings," but I guess I just have to bite the bullet, unless I can find a more ambitious class in town.

Today is devoted to catching up on grading and reading Dracula. I've finished the second and third books in the Eragon series only to find that there's a fourth, and I'm none too pleased about it. While the books are good, and if my 8th graders are all reading them I don't think it's a waste of time if I do to, I can't help but cringe when I see the Christopher Paolini is in league with Phillip Pullman (author of The Golden Compass) whose entire purpose in writing children's books is to undermine the theory of fantasy and fairy stories developed by C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkein.

Well, this has been scattered, but at least I'm blogging.

Let me know how you've been and remind me if I owe you a phone call.

Your Halloween video for the day:


P.S. If you've never seen the musical episode of Buffy: The Vampire Slayer you can't consider yourself cultured. The same holds true for the musical episode of Scrubs.

Pray to St. Dracula for a musical episode of Heroes.

Even If It Kills Me

I've got a lot of things to do tonight,
I'm so sick of making lists, of things I'll never finish...

And the sad truth of the matter is,
I'll never get over it, but I'm gonna try,
To get better and to overcome each moment
In my own way.

And I sure want to get back on track,
And I'll do whatever it takes.
Even if it kills me...

A Rush of Blood to The Head

"There seemed a strange stillness over everything; but aas I listened I hearad asa if from down below in the valley the howling of wolves. The Count's eyes gleamed, and he said: ---
'Listen to them - the children of the night. What music they make!'"

- Dracula, Bram Stroker

Vampires, Werewolves and Zombies, Oh My!

There has been a thick fog over Colorado Springs for the last 48 hours or so. It has been rainy and miserable and before this morning I hadn't seen the mountains in 3 days due to lack of visibility. But when the sun rose this morning I could see that Pike's Peak was blanketed with snow all the way down to the tree line.

I finished the second book in the Inheritance Trilogy (the first of which is the novel Eragon) in my ongoing endeavor to read the books my students are reading. In that same vein I got permission last week to start a book club for my 8th graders.

This book club would meet for two lunches at the end of the month. At the first we will discuss a book of the 8th grader's choosing and at the second I will provide lunch and we will discuss a book of my choosing. For the month of October the books are:

8th graders: Twilight, the first book in the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyers
Mr. Good: Dracula, by Bram Stoker

I'm about 100 pages into Dracula and it's really starting to get good. Evidently, this book is not only the original vampire novel, but also the original werewolf novel, and the original... oh, what do you call people who like comsuming other creatures merely because they are destroying a life? People who would eat flies and spiders, or would feed flies to spiders so that when they ate the spiders the would be comsuming a dozen lives rather than just one? Anybody know? ...well, it's got one of those too.

At this point all these creatures are sort of converging on London and preparing to begin feeding off the innocent populous. Good stuff.

Well, I'm off to church. Have a spooky Sabbath.

Also, since there's a Halloween dance coming up at my school and of course I'm chaperoning I need your suggestions on:

1. What I should make for our Dracula book club lunch.
2. What I should choose for our November book.
3. What I should dress up as when I chaperone the upcoming Halloween dance. Keep in mind Ms. Brogan's dress code prevents me from displaying "weapons or gang signs."

Your Halloween clip: Jonathan Harker first encounter's Count Dracula

Abracadabra

I just finished my seventh week of school and the 8th graders just took their unit test over George Orwell's Animal Farm. Despite how much I enjoy my kids, how much I enjoyed having Mallory here, and how well everything has worked out with my move thus far, I feel discontent. Maybe it's just because I haven't blogged in awhile. We'll see.

Lifetime Incompetence Award

If you've been keeping up on the blog here, you'll remember that I was in a car accident in late August. Click here to read the post. That was the last day of classroom preparation I had before school started the next Monday.

Those of you who know me know that I have lots of luck. Good and bad. Things never go "alright" for me. They are always terrible or great. I will now recount for you the tale of how fate gave me the most incompetent insurance agent who has ever lived.

While still at the scene of my accident, as my arm was bleeding and the firetruck (because when you tell 911 dispatch the cancel the ambulance they send a firetruck) was just rolling up, I was already on the phone with Progressive reporting my claim.

At the time I was really excited about the fact that Colorado doesn't do No-Fault Insurance. That meant that the woman who blindly pulled out into moving traffic and hit me would have to pay for the damages and my insurance rates wouldn't go up, unlike in Michigan where when an old man hits my parked car, sets of the alarm, pulls forward, and then backs into it again, I end up paying a couple hundred bucks more per year for insurance.

Unfortantly, because Colorado doesn't do No-Fault Insuranace I've had to spend the last 9 weeks dealing with some jacktard that has no interest in keeping me happy at all. And here's what happened:

Week 1: I call Mr. W and try to arrange a time for him to look at my car and do an estimate.

Week 2: He misses the appointment we made, shows up the next day when I'm not at home, drops his business card on my driver's seat (through the non-existent window) and leaves.

Week 3: I receive, not a phone call or an e-mail telling me what's going on, but a check for $4,500. I wonder if I should contest the amount and call my Progressive agent who tells me a of a reliable body shop to take the car to.

Week 4: I finally get ahold of Mr. W again and let him know that if I'm going to take my car in to get repaired that I need a rental. The guy at the body shop ends up negotiating the rental with Enterprise because Mr. W can't seem to figure out how. After looking at my car for about 10 minutes Sam, the guy at the body shop, says "there is a lot more damage here than he put on this estimate... ...he also put about 12 items on here that don't even exist on a Chevy Aveo..."

Week 5: Mr. W, after telling me he would be back down to give my car another look, goes on vacation for a week. Both Sam and I call his office a couple times a day until we find out, on Wednesday, that he won't be back in the office until the next Tuesday.

Week 6: I drive a rental around.

Week 7: I play phone tag with Mr. W's secretary. The XM free trial ends on my rental. Mr. W takes another 3 days worth of vacation.

Week 8: Voicemail message from Mr. W "uh... Mr. Good it looks like we're going to have to declare a total loss on your vehicle, get in touch with me as soon as you can." I loot Gretchen's corpse and wait to hearfrom Mr. W about a settlement. Mr. W tells me that they'll give me 10 G's for Gretchen and I agree. He claims he'll take care of it from there.

Week 9: Voicemail message from Mr. W: "uh.... Mr. Good I'm going to need you to return your rental in the next 48 hours..." I panic and start looking for cars.
Voicemail from my loan company: "Mr. Good, this is your final notice, we need to reposess your vehicle." I call Mr. W and find that he has yet to contact my loan company, which means I'm two payments late and they still don't know my car has been totalled.
Letter from 5/3 bank, received on October 10th: "Mr. Good your account has been overdrawn. Please pay $170 in fees before Oct. 8 or your account will accrue further charges." I call Progressive and tell them that my car was totalled and that the insurance payment shouldn't have hit my account, much less my Hillsdale account. They are nice and give me back two months worth of insurance payments that I wouldn't have incurred had Mr. W called them to tell them the car was totalled. I buy a new car, return the rental (one month later), and leave a voicemail for Mr. W telling him to just void the check he originally wrote me and pay off my damn loan like he said he would.

Yesterday: Voicemail message from Mr. W: "uh... Mr. Good now that our business is settled I need you to go ahead and return your rental car." I called him back, told him I returned the car 48 hours ago and that he needed to pay off my loan. He said he had made a payment to the company, but that I would have to take care of the rest out of the original check he wrote me.

Last night: I answer the phone, "Hello, is this Mr. Good?"
"Yes it is..."
"This is Detective M I wanted to confirm that you are the owner of a '06 Chevy Aveo and I need to know where that vehicle is."
"I was the owner, the car is totalled and if the insurance company hasn't claimed it yet, it's at Expert's Only Collision in Colorado Springs, Colorado."
"Could you giv me the number of the body shop? It seems that Farm Bureau Insurance out of Denver thinks it's a little suspicious that your car is in the name of a deceased person. I've already talked to your step-mother."

Ich habe du nicht gesheisst.

I kid you not. That's actually what's been happening. I've had to buy a car on the assumption that I would some day get reimbursed for my accident, I've had to talk to people who wanted to reposess a totalled car, people who were insuring a totalled car, people who thought that I had stolen said car and totalled it, and Mr. W who probably still doesn't remember my name.

But here's the new ride:

And here's your Halloween clip of the day:

I'm going to head to a coffee house later today to watch the episode of Heroes I missed this past Monday. Hopefully that will put me in a better mood.

Help?!?

I've gotten the 24 hour (unfair and I'm going to contest it) notice on my rental, despite not having received my settlement check yet.

That means I have to get a new car pronto, which may be near impossible as I guess I don't even have the credit necessary to obtain a Sears card...

Last night I looked at several vehicles, but because Colorado is the only place in the U.S. that still has enough money to kayak, ski, and buy $500 running shoes despite the economic state of our union the prices here aren't great.

I don't want more debt. I just want to put up a $1500 down-payment, get a vehicle, drive it for 50,000 and be done with it.

I've found a 96 Suburu Outback with only 77,000 miles that I can get out the door for $7,500, but that still doesn't seem great to me.

Help.

Bad Moon Rising

I was thinking as I drove home from work on Friday, that even if cars end up eating the ozone layer and baking us all to a crisp, in some way, God has sanctioned their existence in the pleasure that a dog experiences when he sticks his head out the window.

Mallory responded to this thought by asking why it is that dogs love sticking their heads out the window of a moving vehicle, but they hate it if you blow in their faces....

What Has Jesus to do With Halloween

Every Sunday the bulletin at Divine Redeemer makes me smile. This week, among other things, it advertised a church sponsored haunted house. That's right, not a Fall Festival, not Trunk-or-Treat, but an honest to goodness, scare the pants off you, vampires and werewolves, haunted house.

One of the many thing I love about the church is that they take humanity as it is and go from there. They don't start with the assumption that if we know Jesus we're perfect already and just need to be kept that way.

Championing Halloween shouldn't just be the job of the Catholic Church though, Christianity in general should realize what a perfect opportunity for evangelism it is when, for a month out of the year, everyone in America acknowledges the existence of a spiritual reality.

I don't know about you, but I would much rather talk to a pantheist or the pagan about Christianity than an agnostic or an atheist. At least the devil-worshipper is working with all the same dimensions of reality as the Christian. They acknowledge that a spiritual world exists and that it interacts with the physical world in a meaningful way.

Every child, unless otherwise guided, by the age of 12 will have a fully developed set of pantheistic beliefs. They'll see God in nature, in music, in their friends and family. They'll see evil in the destroying power of divorce and family strife, in ignorance and hatred, in alcohol and even in the fact that the more they know, the less sun-shiny their world seems. Everyone feels the transcendent in music, in physical exertion, in the fuzzy feelings of a first love, the rush of the wind and a warm summer rain. It is only our teenage years or an earlier and more unnatural introduction to materialism that will either make us cling to our false gods or throw them, along with our stuffed animals and LEGOs into an attic, only to be held from that point forward with nostalgia rather than a truly spiritual fascination.

There is something so hard-hearted about not believing in any spiritual reality of any sort, and something ignorant about a Christianity that doesn't realize the real spiritual good that Harry Potter, Eragon, and Halloween are doing.

Christians should be able to embrace Halloween as the only time the most people will acknowledge that a spiritual reality exists at all.

It's amazing how much the shadow tells us about the light and how ineffectual a battle we would be fighting if we set out to conquer rap music, immodest clothing and fast food without allowing Christians and non-Christians alike to see that our battle "is not against enemies of flesh and blood...but against the spiritual forces of darkness of this present age."

Also, the bulletin announced that the Colorado Springs Catholic Young Adult Group would have their monthly "Theology on Tap" meeting at Jack Quinn's at 7pm on Wednesday. Nothing like a Bible study at an Irish pub. Seriously. These people really know what's up.

Your Halloween video:

My Own Worst Enemy

Yesterday was:

• A trip to the Garden of the Gods, where we found out that cute little bunnies, like the one below, have the plague. (click to enlarge)
• A visit to Manitou Springs for Mallory's first taste of Manitou water and a look in at the local cult scene
• Bacon cheeseburgers and some much needed encouragement from Bob and Virginia at the Corner Cafe
• Searching the newspaper for cars and kittens
• Finding out there there are actually no pets at Petsmart
  
• Nearly taking advantage of the Border's 25% teacher discount
• Nearly adopting a kitten from the Humane Society
• Great food and great wine (homemade chicken alfredo and a German Riesling)
• A walk downtown to find a local brewery
• One beer turning into two beers and a couple games of pool (after finding out there was a $10 minimum on credit cards
• Two beers and pool turning into several beers and singing along to a cover band that played exclusively 90's alternative rock (a-mazing)
• Fighting a rabid weresquirrel on our walk back to my house
  
• Sleeping long and well before church

And your Halloween video of the day:

In The Shadows

Real quick - there was no internet to be found at my house yesterday so I'm going to do my best to double-post today.

5 Good Reasons to be Scared Today

1. When I got in my car today, eating a piece of cold pizza slathered in roasted garlic, I thought the Vue was greeting me with a Halloween message, but really I had just mistaken "Odometer" for "October".

2. A kid, with the most sincere expression and tone, excused his absence on Wednesday by saying that his family had spent Rosh Hashanah at home preparing for the End Times. Seriously, the kid spent the day reading Revelation and trying to tie Nostradamus prophesies to current events. So.... if this kid's dad "feels a rapture coming on" is he going to miss more class? On the bright side I really didn't see Sarah Palin as the Whore of Babylon, but it does kind of make sense and now I can be prepared. Why else would a woman only own red suits?

3. Cardinal John Henry Newman has been disinterred and is to be kept in a church on Halloween and All Saint's Day in preparation of a mass honoring him and promoting his cause for sainthood. Read about it here.

4. Perhaps they are digging up ol' Newmie in hopes of finding that he is incorruptible. What's incorruptible? Why I thought you'd never ask: 10 Incorruptible Saints. Check out especially St. Bernadette who died in 1879 and as of a really 80's looking photograph still looks like she's just sleeping.

5. This is my favorite Sesame Street segment of all time:

October

"This breeze, which has travelled from the regions towards which I am advancing, gives me a foretaste of those icy climes. Inspirited by this wind of promise, my daydreams becoming more fervent and vivid." - Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

It is officially the Halloween season. I slept with a bag of candy corn under my pillow and when I woke up at 1:17 I nibbled on a handful of the waxy kernels before continuing to dream of Heroes.

Words, Words, Words

Last night I played the closest game of Scrabble that I have ever witnessed. I compliment Eva, my opponent, and admit that I underestimated her abilities.

Our scores were within 20 points the entire game, we both easily broke 300 points, and the final four words played were "one" (on a triple word score), "furl," "jeer," and "oven." I ended up winning (after the adding and subtracting of Eva's final letters) by 1 point. Wow. A good omen for the coming month.

Mallory arrives tomorrow, which means a week of insanity for all parties involved. Expect pictures. Expect it to be good.

Also, expect October to rock your socks with:
1. Daily quotations from Frankenstein, Dracula, or the works of Edgar Allan Poe.
2. A YouTube video every day, increasing in spookiness and nearness to my heart as the month goes on.
3. Either a new decoration in my house or a new element on the blog in preparation for my 100th posts on November 1st (All Saint's Day).
4. Good reasons why you should never dress your kid as a princess or a cowboy.
5. A simple, progressive explanation of why Jesus loves Halloween just as much as Christmas or Easter. And finally...
6. The absolute denegration of every secular Christmas song and tradition.

Today I just want to ease you into the season with a short video from National Geographic on the history of Halloween. Enjoy.

Sundown

It is the eve of the day that begins the month which culminates with my favorite holiday: Halloween.

As I watch the sun throw up it's last pitifully unanswered cries for help, while the mountains obscure it's grizzly fate - drowned in the cruel pacific - I focus every fiber of my being on the self-restraint it will take to refrain from the sugary sweet goodness of candy corn for another four hours. How can a simple mixture of sugar, corn syrup, egg whites, honey, soy protein, salt, artificial flavors, confectioner's glaze, carnauba wax, and artificial dyes including red 7, yellow 5, and yellow 3 taste so good?

Did You Ever Think When a Hearse Goes By...

Today after work I stopped by Experts Only Collision to pay my final respects to Gretchen and to search her mangled corpse for valuables.

All told she held: a bottle of laundry detergent, my other hobo-glove (whose mate is my favorite pot-holder), three dirty socks, Chaucer's Canturbury Tales, four quarters, and about 643 pens.

It's funny how little I mourn the passing of the lesbian in my life when I consider how attached I was to my Oldsmobile in high school. Maybe it's because the times spent in Gretchen weren't nearly as good as those spent in the Olds, but I should feel some gratitude towards her for getting me through three years of Hillsdale and the move to Colorado.

She's carted more than her share of odiferous highschoolers to and from Young Life, she's been borrowed and battered by nearly everyone I know. She's driven to Chicago without me. She's crossed the Missippi and climbed mountains while bearing my only wordly possessions. And now, like my bike, my savings, my dignity and my will to live, Colorado has taken her from me.

Rest in peace Gretch. May the spirit of Henry Ford, from whom all cars come and to whom they must all return, take kindlier to homosexuals than the God of Abraham and Isaac.



Also, the Fantasy Book Store on Platte does not have The Hobbit. Really they don't have any of the sort of books you're looking for. Really, it isn't that kind of fantasy book store.

Freedom 90

St. Dracula (the patron saint of Halloween that I made up today) has sent me numerous blessings in preparation for the fast-approaching season.

Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead

1. Mallory is coming. I'll have a great friend from home in the Springs for a week beginning this Thursday (just in time to start Halloween right).

2. I've received a standing invitation to watch Heroes and, much like St. Dracula hisself, I can't go anywhere without being explicitly invited (I also don't like mirrors, though I love garlic... hmm...).

3. Gretchen is dead. That's right my woman-loving car is totalled. It took a month for the verdict to come down, but it has been made and she's gone. Hot stuff. The settlement will pay off Gretchen and give me money left over for a down payment and trip to Boston. Turns out this whole thing was serendipitous after all.

Prepare yourselves for my favorite month. It's going to rock the flesh off from your bones.

Only 48 more hours remain in my candy corn fast, then the blood hits the fan (like in the movie Carrie) and I force you, once again, to love everything I do, or to be bored out of your mind for an extended period of time - speaking of which, tonight is Heroes which means tomorrow will be an all-Heroes post. Eat my ectoplasm.

Love Halloween like I do? Let me know what your reason for the season is and how you'll be spending it - disembowelling your loved ones, I hope.

Sunday Morning

Sundays are always beautiful. First sleeping until 10am, then heading to mass and people watching, then to Wal-Mart or Safeway for weekly groceries and more of the same. The rest of the day is up for grabs - a little schoolwork, a little reading, some time at the library - trying to find the perfect combination of routine and spontaneity.

With the introduction of a table my house is starting to actually feel livable:
My favorite block downtown just got a new mural, I'm fine with Barack being portrayed as Lincoln as long as he actually grows the beard. I will not be fine, however, when I see the first picture of him photoshopped onto a crucifix (I give it a week).
Also, Sunday's have the added perk of a new batch of secrets at PostSecret online.



Tomorrow begins a new week of school, and brings a new episode of Heroes (any takers?).

On The Radio

I still have my rental car. I called my mechanic again last Monday to ask what decision had been made - was my car totalled, or was he going ahead with the work - and, flabbergasted, he responded that he had called my claims adjuster half a dozen times, only to find out that he was taking a week-long vacation.

So, that means that a verdict will come in on Gretchen, at best, by this Tuesday (the adjuster has to come down from Denver to look at her) and if she's dead I'll have a week and a half more of the rental to find a new car, and if she isn't I'll have at least a week and a half of waiting for her to get fixed. What I like to call a "groundhog situation."

The DL on XM

A couple weeks ago I was super excited about the fact that my rental came with XM radio, and strangely I found that the "'40's" station could hold my attention the longest, with "Nashville" coming in a close second. At first I was super-impressed by XM. The 90's station wasn't playing songs like "Jenny From The Block" or Inrique Iglesias' "Hero," it was bumping jams like "One Headlight," "What I Got," and "Gettin' Jiggy Wit' It."

By the same token "Nashville" wasn't playing "Redneck Woman" or "Save a Horse..." it was playing "When You Walk In" (early Lonestar) and "Indian Outlaw" (early Tim McGraw).

But, as fate would have it, my XM was only a trial and ceased to function on the same day that I found out I would be driving my rental for another two weeks.

I love resources like Pandora and XM because they prove that somewhere it is in someone's best economic interest to produce a quality product, and to cater to a group other than the "I Kissed A Girl"-loving multitude.

Also, I love that someone is trying to improve radio, while still holding to the principles that make radio great. While I know that at any time I begin a roadtrip I could use my iTrip to blast "Life is a Highway" and start things off right, I would much, much rather have "Life is a Highway" come up randomly on the radio 1 in 1000 times and know that the powers that be have blessed my trip.

The radio is beautiful because it is random, whenever I go back to it I'm always happy I did, and I feel a little guilty that I've had the mp3-player-strangle-hold over my musical life for so long.

So, let loose today, turn on the radio and hear the soundtrack to your life that you've been ignoring.




Also, I want ya'll to know that I came across my old CD wallet this week and, for the first time since freshman year of college, actually had a CD player. So, I've been listening to:

1. The Remix (a great CD Pat made me in high school), highlights: "Hot Stepper" and "Sundown"
2. High School Soundtrack (a CD I made for my walk to school senior year), highlights: "Authority Song" by Jimmy Eat World and "Fire Escape" by Fastball
3. Senior Year (a perfect mix of songs, none of which I can actually listen to because the emotion is still too raw), highlights: "Told You So" by BNL and "Champagne High" by Sister Hazel

Friday I'm in Love

Did you know that Friday in latin in dies Veneris, the day of Venus, goddess of love?

Turns out The Cure was more cultured than we all thought. And that the Romans loved Friday as much as we do.

Too Little, Too Late

Today is going to be big. How big? Well, I'm predicting to double the highest number of people my house has held since the beginning of September. That's right, there will be at least, if not more than, two individuals in my apartment. I don't want to get ahead of myself, but this weekend could possibly even see triple the previous record population of my apartment since Brad and Leroy left, that would mean nearly three souls all told.

Not Your Left, The Chair's Left

But seriously, starting tomorrow I'll be having a guest at the bachelor pad for the next several days, which is wonderfully exciting and unreasonably stressful.

Surely not stressful enough, however, to make me actually begin cleaning my house more than two hours before bedtime the night before, or to actually try putting together the table and chairs that I bought last weekend until, after learning eight wrong ways to put together a chair, I finally do it right two times and don't have enough time to finish the other two chairs.

I also Boraxed every horizontal surface in my house, Windexed every vertical surface, and attempted to hang too-small pictures on everything in between.

But more importantly:


P.S. Pretty sure I just got borax in my eye.
P.P.S. If I don't get 3 more comments on the Heroes post I will end myself.
P.P.P.S. I also bought sheets today. Don't ask.
P.P.P.PS. I freaking love lolcats.

And most importantly, the song that lends its name to this entry is too good to waste on a post this crappy, I reserve the right to use it again.

Brick

This will be brief, it's late and I have to write a post for tomorrow.

Plus, I'm more than a little downhearted at the non-response to my Heroes post. Evidently you all aren't the culturally affluent people I thought you were. Enjoy Mondays for the next 6 months you yellow-bellied sapsuckers. For shame.

40 Days For Life

Today marks the beginning of the 40 Days For Life campaign, an interdenominational effort to organize the thoughts, prayers, and acts of service of individuals throughout North America trying to end abortion.

I'll be volunteering to pray for an hour a week or so in front of Planned Parenthood. If you are passionate about this topic (and if you aren't passionate you should at least spend some time thinking about why you aren't) you might think of doing the same. If you live in a major U.S. city, then chances are your church is participating, if not, it's not as though you can't think and pray about life-related issues wherever you're at.

I'll probably make remarks on abortion regularly throughout the next forty days, but I'm going to do my best to avoid the term "pro-life". Why? Because I know that there is no sane human being out there who wants to kill babies. The abortion question is not a disagreement at all about whether human life has value, but a disagreement about when human life begins. While defining a period where life begins inherently erodes human dignity, it doesn't mean that there is a faction somewhere that just hates babies.

I personally will continue to err on the side of caution as far as tampering with human life and procreation goes and would encourage you to do the same, but I'm going to try to stay away from mud-slinging, name-calling, etc.

For today all I really have for you is Ben Fold's song "Brick," which is a true story about his reaction after his highschool girlfriend's abortion. Give it a good listen and let me know what you think.

Embedding is disabled so YouTube it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axpuVLQ_m4w

Or just listen to the playlist on the sidebar.

Lyrics:
Six am day after Christmas,
I throw some clothes on in the dark.
The smell of cold,
Car seat is freezing,
The world is sleeping and
I am numb

Up the stairs to her apartment
She is balled up on the couch
Her mom and dad went down to Charlotte
They're not home to find us out
And we drive
Now that I have found someone
I'm feeling more alone
Than I ever have before

She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere
Shes a brick and I'm drowning slowly...

They call her name at 7:30
I pace around the parking lot
Then I walk down to buy her flowers
And sell some gifts that I got
Cant you see
It's not me you're dying for
Now she's feeling more alone
Than she ever has before

Chorus

As weeks went by
It showed that she was not fine
They told me son it's time
To tell the truth
And she broke down and I broke down
Cause I was tired of lying.


Driving back to her apartment,
For the moment we're alone,
She's alone,
And I'm alone,
Now I know it.

Chorus

Futures

Despite Colorado's best efforts I did end up getting to watch Heroes last night. In a spirit of desperation I sent Megan a Facebook message before I left work yesterday and at 7pm I had just resigned myself to watching the “Jesus is My Friend” video repeatedly when my phone rang. Nota Bene: I don't own a TV, so I need to find a regular Monday night venue for watching Heroes.

To the tune of “Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger” I sped to Safeway, picked up some peanut butter M&Ms and a bag of caramel apple suckers (a personal favorite) I headed out to the Martin place where I enjoyed the last 15 minutes or so of the Heroes live premier party (which is not live if you live anywhere but in east coast time, stupid Colorado) before the Heroes two-hour season opener began. Thanks again Megan.

Spoilers Ahead, Seriously

Let me just say before I get into the thick of things that Heroes is the best thing on TV right now. If you've never seen it before you need to do some illegal downloading, move it to the top of your Netflix list, or head to your local Blockbuster and get caught up. Also, if you have to start halfway that isn't a problem. The three “volumes” of Heroes are all different stories, so feel free to start at the beginning of season 2 or 3 and rest assured that the fans are just as in the dark about most things as you are.

Not only does the world need some solid science fiction (though its “solidity” is definitely debatable), but the writing and storytelling are just plain good. Heroes doesn't play the same game as Lost, giving you 15 minutes of new footage per episode and then spending the other 29 on recaps and flashbacks. And, thought to the novice it may seem scattered, the greater Heroes storyarc is usually complete by the end of the season, leaving only a few unanswered questions (like why did they have the same guy who stole Claire's Nissan Rogue at the beginning of season two go down to Mexico only to be killed by Sylar without any real explanation?).

As for the premiere itself, it was pretty well done. It did, however, seem strange that in the first episode they spoon-fed viewers the answers to questions they've been asking since season one; like, what is Angela Petrelli's power? If Sylar does ever nab Claire's power, will she live through the process? If powers can theoretically be taken away, couldn't they also be given? And most importantly: Does Sylar actually eat brains?

But, the first two episodes also gave us some great new questions to ask: How is Claire “different” from the other heroes? Does that Rafiki-like fellow who found Matt have Isaac's power? Will present-day Peter be able to use his normal abilities in his new body, or will he be limited to “sound manipulation”? If your DNA determines how your ability manifests itself, why is it that Tracy can freeze things, whereas Nikki and Jessica have super-strength? And most importantly: Since when does Hiro not actually stop time? Because if that speed-demon girl can still move then evidently he's just making things go really really slowly.

Lastly, a few thoughts on where the season is going and a couple of predictions. Heroes is a great show because it generally resists prediction – mostly because the writers monitor fan forums and make sure that the best guess is never the right guess – but I always have to try. I think the real fun of “Villains” is not so much going to be that the escapees from Level 5 need to be tracked down, but that our favorite heroes will find themselves being manipulated into doing more harm than good and the fate of the human race will be entrusted to the more peripheral characters.

What do I mean? Let's establish our groups.

Typical heroes: Peter, Claire, Hiro, Mohinder, Matt, Micah
Typical zeros: Ando, Claire's dad, Angela Petrelli, Nathan, Maya, Elle

So, where do we stand? Well Peter is already confined to the body of a villain. Ando kills Hiro in the future and I'm betting it's because Ando is in the right and Hiro has been led astray by doubt and a desire to fulfill his destiny. Mohinder, out of a desire for power, has given up his standard role as the show's moral compass, Claire is more troubled than we have already seen her, Nathan has found God, and Angela Petrelli is finally taking some responsibility for her actions.

I'm guessing that present-Peter is going to spend half the season incapacitated (as usual), future Peter is going to do more harm than good, Claire is going be soul searching and dying (repeatedly), Angela is going to have do everything in her power to save the work of the company, Ando is going to get an ability and do his best to win Hiro over, Maya is going to try to hold back Mohinder and probably just cry and say “Dios mio” a lot, Elle will prove her worth, Nathan will become the show's moral compass after either getting the best of ghost-Linderman or discovering that he's a useful ally, and ultimately Sylar will be converted. Yes, that's right, Sylar will be converted. It has to happen sooner or later.

To wrap it up: zeros become heroes, heroes become villains, and villains change their stripes.

As long as they don't “bring in the Phoenix,” as the expression I just invented goes, I think they'll do fine.

Quick Update

I was out late watching Heroes last night (more on how that transpired later), so I still owe ya'lls a full post for today, but to tide you over, a live performance from Sonseed, my new favorite praise band:

Happiness Is...

Five Good Reasons To Be (Almost) Catholic

1. Yesterday was “Chili and Margarita” day at Divine Redeemer, which meant that I went directly from mass to eating homemade chili and enjoying mixed drinks in Fellowship Hall, and they were tall and unusually strong. Those old ladies know how to whip up a margarita. Only in the Catholic Church would you have hospitality volunteers signing up to bring “12 large bottles of tequila.”

2. Flannery O’Connor is Catholic. I bought a copy of A Good Man is Hard to Find and Other Short Stories at a used bookstore on Saturday for $3.50. I was three stories in before reading the back cover and discovering that not only was O’Connor Catholic, but her expressed purpose in writing these stories was “to reveal the mystery of God’s grace in everyday life.”

3. I also started reading Dracula in preparation for Halloween. it’s interesting to note that Dracula is sort of built around the liturgical year, beginning on St. George’s day and culminating on Halloween, or All Hallows Eve. My plan is to set the mood in the month of October by reading Dracula, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and Frankenstein. Who’s with me?

4. Today in our bulletin I found the following announcement under the heading Annual Blessing of Pets: "On Monday, October 6th, in honor of St. Francis of Assisi, we will be blessing family pets. You may bring your pet to Divine Redeemer for a special blessing of good health and, hopefully, good obedience. All pets are welcome.”

5. And finally:

More Than This

Artemis Fowl has the encyclopedic, bland and blatantly British narrator of Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, the "just kidding he's not dead" moments of Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows, the blatant disregard for mythology of My Little Pony, the "boy without parents" license of Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire, the amoral cast of Snatch, the awkward hints at teenage romance of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, and the crude mixing of technology and fantasy found only in The Santa Clause II.

Finally, A Response

Despite all that, I read all 300 pages and probably would read the second book if it was placed in front of me. Why? Because it's entertaining. It's the same reason I'll watch a show like "Everybody Loves Raymond." I'm not going to learn anything from it, I'll laugh out loud once, and I'll forget it the moment it's over and never watch it again.

I guess that's the difference between a good book and a great book. A good book is worth reading once; a great book is worth reading once a year for the rest of your life.

The girl who recommended Artemis Fowl to me also happened to get the speaking prompt "If we lived in the world of Fahrenheit 451 and you could save one book what would it be?" and she absolutely couldn't pick one book. She had to have the entire Artemis Fowl series, the entire Percy Jackson series, and the entire Eragon series. But I wonder if she's ever read any of them more than once.

I know that most eighth graders haven't read any book more than once, but would she ever want to pick up Artemis Fowl again for any reason other than nostalgia?

I guess this is, in a way, my answer to Pat's comments from the post "Shot In The Dark." I really do think there are distractions, or at least "lesser goods." I really do think that Artemis Fowl is almost completely devoid of an accurate or enlightening portrayal of humanity. While (I hope) most people reading this post haven't read Artemis Fowl, it seems to me to be just one aspect of the mask of popular culture, and sometimes I think there's nought beyond (that Moby Dick reference is for Mike).

Whatever entertainment someone gets out of Artemis Fowl, High School Musical, or the music of The Pussycat Dolls, could be better obtained from Huckleberry Finn, Fiddler on the Roof, or Dave Matthews, and with it would come brilliant insight into our human nature.

Obviously, no form of cultural outlet will find us staring into the face of God, but some books are just better than others. Better in that they address subjects that concern our humanity (I addressed this in "Same Old Thing" earlier this week).

But what about the rest of our lives, when we aren't reading, watching or listening? Well, I think Pat is right there. It's all about what you're called to. I'm beginning to think we all have four vocations: a personal, a political, a professional, and a spiritual.

Marriage is a beautiful thing to which not all of us will be privileged, but we all have a relational calling. Being a leader among men is a burden to which not everyone is called, but we all have a role to play in the life of our polis (city). Everyone has a role to play professionally, but not everyone will see the work of their hands become a tangible change in the world. Everyone is called to find the final and ultimate source of Truth and find their place in His universe, but not everyone is born to be a theologian.

However, no one is called to polygamy, no one is called to be a tyrant, no one is called to make pornographic films, and no one is called to be a subverter of truth, but you all know that.

And who am I to judge? A human being. It's everyone job to not only discern right from wrong, but more wrong from less wrong. I absolutely believe in degrees (all puns...), but only because I believe in an absolute truth, toward which we can all draw closer, and from which we cannot absolutely turn away.



Oh, and just so you know, no one is called to watch CSI, but that's another post.

Coffee

Last night I read Artemis Fowl. That's right, the "young adult," Harry Potteresque novel. Why? Because I told my eighth graders that I wanted to read their favorite books. I made it through all 300 pages in about 3 hours so I don't consider it a huge time investment, and it will open some doors to talking with the kids about literature. I just needed to confess to you what I did with my Friday night.

Also, Brad and Leroy, where the devil is my pancake mix? I woke up this morning craving pancakes and I can't find it anywhere. There's no way we actually ran out that stuff, so I'm guessing one of you hid it in the toilet tank or the freezer or something.

Now That's Just Creepy

When I came across this phenomenon yesterday I thought about saving it for Halloween (and by Halloween I mean October), but at least part one of this message is going to go stale before then.

First I'd like to say that I'm not a fan of Starbucks. I don't care how good it tastes or how green they are, I just want free Wi-Fi with my coffee, and since early this summer they've become T-Mobile exclusive in most stores, and AT&T exclusive at others. Despite this fact, however, I did find two good reasons to go to Starbucks in the near future.

1. Free Coffee - That's right free coffee, but only for teachers and only on Mondays in September. I'm definitely taking advantage of this on Monday morning and you should too; check out the rules at: http://www.starbucks.com/aboutus/pressdesc.asp?id=896

2. Creepiest Big Business Mascot In The World - Have you ever wondered what that girl was doing on the Starbucks logo? Me either. Doesn't matter. Maybe she's a queen or something. Who cares? Give me my coffee. But this summer Starbucks came out with "retro" labels which revealed a bit about how their logo has evolved.

Turns out that girl with the crown is really a naked siren - the creatures that would tormet Greek sailors and lure them to their doom - and the original logo isn't just less market-friendly, it's downright creepy.

The retro-label is sort of the happy medium. It admits that coffee is irresistible, something supernatural in the water that is luring you to your doom, but at least it's a bit more aesthetically pleasing than the two-tailed seahag they started out with.

So, I couldn't hold back and save it for monster month, but I hope this revelation about Starbucks is as new to you as it was to me.

Also, is it bad that my students are already trained to answer the question "How much land does a man need?" with a choral response of "six by six by two"?

And if you haven't responded to yesterday's call for "I like my coffee like I like my ______" then do it. Do it now.

Steady As She Goes

Lately I've been hearing from all sectors of my Web 2.0 life that I need to focus my blog, refine my vision of what I'd like it to be and get into a groove. I've been taking that to heart and after at least 2 1/2 hours of consideration I think, if my blog could be known for only one thing, I'd like it to be the exhaustive and complete source for all "I like my coffee like I like..." jokes. I only know of three or so variations myself, but I know there is potential there. Try your hand at one today and leave it as a comment.

Breathing Easy

Since I've started teaching, every Friday is the best day of my entire life. Our Fridays are shortened, which means that the kids leave at about 1:30 and I don't teach Latin at all - a small compensation for the fact that the periods between classes are only three minutes. While I struggle to stay on task for that extra afternoon prep-time, I enjoy the fact that the four classes I do teach on Fridays are shortened to 40 minutes.

Yesterday the 8th graders gave impromptu speeches, based on prompts like "If you could tell Obama and McCain one thing, what would it be?" and "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" They were required to speak for a minute and a half and then answer a question about their topic asked by one of their fellow classmates. It was by far the funniest day yet in my class, especially when it came time for the student with the prompt "Tell Mr. Good's life story" to present.

It turns out that in the eyes of my students I am a closet Canadian, born in 1979, to a world renown cupcake chef, and the son of a carpenter with an obsession for rocking chairs. I was also an amateur jump-roping star with Olympic aspirations, who kept rats and goldfish as pets (and a rat curled up in the pocket of my suit at all times).

I'm nearly finished with Julia Child's memoir My Life in France and while I've enjoyed the ride, not a bit of that enjoyment comes from picturing my grandma, a woman who would be about Julia's age, were either of them still alive, and nearly her height, as well. My favorite moment in the entire book occurred on page 289 and constitutes the harshest euphemism I've ever encountered, which is saying something as I'm a sort of connoisseur of kakophonisms. After relating how her dear friend Jim Beard had nearly died of heart failure Child says: "It was a close call. We were now at the age where some of our oldest and best friends were 'slipping off the raft', as the saying goes..."

Okay, first of all, that's surely not a saying and secondly, for any of us who have seen Titantic or read "The Open Boat" by Stephen Crane, that is an unnecessarily gruesome way to refer to death. And lastly, it's hilarious. Almost as funny as a T-Rex delivering pizza on a tricycle.

Here's a little bit of extra Julia, just to make your day:


For those two of you that knew her, tell me that this doesn't look like my Grandma Good. .

Not The Same

“'See, the home of God is among mortals.
He will dwell with them;
they will be his people,
and God himself will be with them;
he will wipe every tear from their eyes.
Death will be no more;
mourning and crying and pain will be no more,
for the first things have passed away.'
And the one who was seated on the throne said, 'See I am making all things new.'”
- Revelation 21:3b-5a

I Believe I'm a Walking Contradiction

Today's post is long, but I think it's worth it, and, if you're feeling lost, be sure you read yesterday's: Same Old Thing.

Today I started class by challenging my students with the quotation that began yesterday's post. I asked them to tell me one thing that had happened in the last 2500 years that would have surprised the writer of Ecclesiastes - one entirely new aspect of humanity that he never could have dreamed of.

First came answers like “the microwave” and “the internet,” but I pointed out that the microwave and the internet are just new ways to cook and share information, things humans have always done. After more thought they put forth “the moon landing” and “the atom bomb,” and again I reminded them that death, suffering, and pain, the discovery of harsh and alien landscapes were very old experiences, and that the atom bomb and moon landing differed from their antecedents only in magnitude, not in kind.

Finally, two students kicked the discussion up a notch by posing two important questions: “What about miracles?” and “What about individuals?”

Honestly, they had stumped me, especially since I teach at a public school and am therefore relatively limited as to what assertions I can make.

While the laws of nature are universal in every time and place, I believe, if I believe in the gospel, that at some point God utterly violated those laws and changed everything, forever. That much I had to admit, as well as that while human nature itself might be entirely universal (we are all born, we all learn, to love or desire family and friends, we labor, we fall in love, we reproduce and we die) the individual is just that: unique and therefore of inestimable value.

When the author of Ecclesiastes composed this passage he neither had a conception of the spiritual transaction that would take place during the crucifixion of Christ, nor did he have the fullness of the gift of the Holy Spirit that we experience now. In a sense, those things are entirely new, but I'd like to consider them in light of the comment Katie made on yesterday's post. She suggested that somehow, even if we weren't privy to the knowledge, the nature of God has always been the sole factor in determining what constitutes reality. God was always three persons: Maker, Redeemer, and Advocate.

Moreover, God doesn't look at time like we do, he doesn't see a linear progression in human knowledge. In the same way that we can't see or conceive of a mono-dimensional object (with only length, width or height), I doubt, except insofar as he condescends to our own time-based minds and senses, that God really notices a thing like time at all.

I love Catholicism, and Christianity in general, for a number of reasons, but perhaps the foremost among these is the fact they not only accept, but embrace as doctrine, and even worship, contraries which blatantly oppose logic.

For example: that God is one nature and three persons, that Christ is 100% man and 100% God, that the Eucharist is actually the body and blood of Christ despite having every discernible-by-sense-data quality of bread and wine, and most importantly that God was just when he accepted the life of an innocent man as a ransom for those worthy of death.

While Christ did come at a specific time for a specific purpose, and in doing so totally changed our conception of human nature, in many ways his coming is so absolutely perfect that we can't imagine history without it. He seems to be the deus ex machina, but could we really make sense of anything that had happened before or after Christ without him? We were always the redeemed people. We were always children of God, but he decided, in true heroic fashion, to let us lose him, so that he might win us.

But, is the beauty of the thing an adequate justification for believing it to be true? Can I rest assured that because God did what appears to be the most beautiful thing, that the facts of the matter can defy logic?

Let me know what you think, and listen to today's song; it's by Ben Folds and describes an especially strange story of conversion.