Steady As She Goes

Lately I've been hearing from all sectors of my Web 2.0 life that I need to focus my blog, refine my vision of what I'd like it to be and get into a groove. I've been taking that to heart and after at least 2 1/2 hours of consideration I think, if my blog could be known for only one thing, I'd like it to be the exhaustive and complete source for all "I like my coffee like I like..." jokes. I only know of three or so variations myself, but I know there is potential there. Try your hand at one today and leave it as a comment.

Breathing Easy

Since I've started teaching, every Friday is the best day of my entire life. Our Fridays are shortened, which means that the kids leave at about 1:30 and I don't teach Latin at all - a small compensation for the fact that the periods between classes are only three minutes. While I struggle to stay on task for that extra afternoon prep-time, I enjoy the fact that the four classes I do teach on Fridays are shortened to 40 minutes.

Yesterday the 8th graders gave impromptu speeches, based on prompts like "If you could tell Obama and McCain one thing, what would it be?" and "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" They were required to speak for a minute and a half and then answer a question about their topic asked by one of their fellow classmates. It was by far the funniest day yet in my class, especially when it came time for the student with the prompt "Tell Mr. Good's life story" to present.

It turns out that in the eyes of my students I am a closet Canadian, born in 1979, to a world renown cupcake chef, and the son of a carpenter with an obsession for rocking chairs. I was also an amateur jump-roping star with Olympic aspirations, who kept rats and goldfish as pets (and a rat curled up in the pocket of my suit at all times).

I'm nearly finished with Julia Child's memoir My Life in France and while I've enjoyed the ride, not a bit of that enjoyment comes from picturing my grandma, a woman who would be about Julia's age, were either of them still alive, and nearly her height, as well. My favorite moment in the entire book occurred on page 289 and constitutes the harshest euphemism I've ever encountered, which is saying something as I'm a sort of connoisseur of kakophonisms. After relating how her dear friend Jim Beard had nearly died of heart failure Child says: "It was a close call. We were now at the age where some of our oldest and best friends were 'slipping off the raft', as the saying goes..."

Okay, first of all, that's surely not a saying and secondly, for any of us who have seen Titantic or read "The Open Boat" by Stephen Crane, that is an unnecessarily gruesome way to refer to death. And lastly, it's hilarious. Almost as funny as a T-Rex delivering pizza on a tricycle.

Here's a little bit of extra Julia, just to make your day:


For those two of you that knew her, tell me that this doesn't look like my Grandma Good. .