Sundown

It is the eve of the day that begins the month which culminates with my favorite holiday: Halloween.

As I watch the sun throw up it's last pitifully unanswered cries for help, while the mountains obscure it's grizzly fate - drowned in the cruel pacific - I focus every fiber of my being on the self-restraint it will take to refrain from the sugary sweet goodness of candy corn for another four hours. How can a simple mixture of sugar, corn syrup, egg whites, honey, soy protein, salt, artificial flavors, confectioner's glaze, carnauba wax, and artificial dyes including red 7, yellow 5, and yellow 3 taste so good?

Did You Ever Think When a Hearse Goes By...

Today after work I stopped by Experts Only Collision to pay my final respects to Gretchen and to search her mangled corpse for valuables.

All told she held: a bottle of laundry detergent, my other hobo-glove (whose mate is my favorite pot-holder), three dirty socks, Chaucer's Canturbury Tales, four quarters, and about 643 pens.

It's funny how little I mourn the passing of the lesbian in my life when I consider how attached I was to my Oldsmobile in high school. Maybe it's because the times spent in Gretchen weren't nearly as good as those spent in the Olds, but I should feel some gratitude towards her for getting me through three years of Hillsdale and the move to Colorado.

She's carted more than her share of odiferous highschoolers to and from Young Life, she's been borrowed and battered by nearly everyone I know. She's driven to Chicago without me. She's crossed the Missippi and climbed mountains while bearing my only wordly possessions. And now, like my bike, my savings, my dignity and my will to live, Colorado has taken her from me.

Rest in peace Gretch. May the spirit of Henry Ford, from whom all cars come and to whom they must all return, take kindlier to homosexuals than the God of Abraham and Isaac.



Also, the Fantasy Book Store on Platte does not have The Hobbit. Really they don't have any of the sort of books you're looking for. Really, it isn't that kind of fantasy book store.